This is a message I received from a woman who wished to remain anonymous. I know that to talk about such personal accounts takes great courage. She has agreed to share her story in the hope that it will shed greater light on our important cause. Here is her message and her story:
“I want to comment on your post from June 21, I don’t normally comment on these because it hits close to home. For 6 years I was in an abusive relationship that ended a pregnancy not as far along as your beloved Cassie but a baby none the less, he would push me, kick me, hit me, strangle me, lock me in places and at one point tried to kill me.
This post is the reason I never sought outside help, the reason why I would lie to police, doctors, family and friends. We are made to feel ashamed like it’s our faults because we couldn’t leave and losing a baby due to domestic violence is the worse feeling in the world. You feel helpless, you feel like a failure, you feel like you don’t ever deserve to become a mother because you couldn’t protect the one thing that matter most. Please don’t give up on your bill, Molly needs this, we as humanity need this and you need this. My family stands behind you 100%, I just wanted you to know this even with all your support and even though you don’t me.
As for the MP not willing to pass this I wonder if they’ve ever had to go through something like this, the feeling of helplessness. This is not taking any females rights away if anything this is empowering us, this is showing abuser and murders that it’s not acceptable to not only hurt an expectant mother, but if you hurt or kill her baby you will suffer consequences.
What happened to you wife, daughter, granddaughter is awful, but the fact that Molly and all other babies are not recognized is even worse. Molly was a baby, a loved baby, and she needs justice. I hope one day we will see a change and I hope one day your family will have your closure you much deserve. Keep going with this, never give up, it will happen.”
My story…
“I had just had my son. He would’ve been 3 months old at the time. I went to my now ex-boyfriend and explained to him that I was pregnant again. He wanted me to get an abortion. This is my choice and as I told him with my son, no, it is my body and my decision.
He threw me up against a wall and started strangling me. He yelled in my face and I dropped to the ground where he proceeded to kick me until I was crying and begging him to stop. My crying only excited him more. When I was finally able to get up, I was bleeding. I was bleeding badly. I knew the baby was gone.
There was absolutely nothing I could do about it but cry and be absolutely disgusted with myself that I couldn’t protect my baby.
This wasn’t the only time, people can say what they want. “Why didn’t you leave? Why didn’t you seek help?” I didn’t leave because I was scared. I didn’t leave because he threatened to take my son and later on my daughter. I didn’t get help and tell because he would make me out to be crazy and a liar.
I hid my pregnancy from everyone the 3rd time around because I was scared he would do it again. Finally, about seven months in, I told my family thinking nothing would happen. I was wrong. I got the beating of my life that night from him, but I protected her. I took all the kicks all the punches and I protected my little girl. I now have kidney issues but her life over mine. He tried to kill me. Yes, you read that properly – he wanted me dead.
Thank god for my now husband. He saved me. He got to me at the right time. If not, my children would be motherless. I don’t remember too much of that night but I was rushed to the hospital and even there I was made to feel like it was my fault.
I have nightmares every single night even years later. Yes I’ve sought help but they just sweep it under the rug until it’s too late. It seems someone has to die before charges are laid.
This is my story – this was my hell – my reality for six years. I cry now remembering all I went through, being locked in dark rooms, strangled, thrown outside in shorts in the middle of winter, having garbage over my head because I was nothing but garbage.
We need a change and Cassie and Molly’s bill is our change. This isn’t taking away our rights; this is empowering us by giving our unborn babies a voice. I’m pro-choice but I’m not ok with an innocent baby being killed at the hands of a murderer.
We need to come together as humanity and make this change, if not for Cassie, Molly and their families, for all the future Cassie and Molly’s. Let’s stand together, let’s not let another tear drop for these monsters. Look at your daughters, your wives, your granddaughters – would you like them to live my nightmare? It never goes away. My ex is free and any chance he gets he still threatens me. He is the monster in my life. Please don’t allow monsters to live in your families lives, make the change we need, stand up for these women with no voice!”
If you too have a story you would like to share, please email me at:
mollymatterscanada@gmail.com
And if you have not already, please sign our petition to show the government we want such criminals held accountable for their crimes.
